Suzan Svatek

It’s been a LONG time since I posted.  A lot has happened.  We moved Mother to another Assisted Living facility where she would have better care and more attention.  She continued to deteriorate,  getting to the point that she could not walk or feed herself.  We tried every testing possable to see why she could not walk.  No answers.  She was hospitalized in March of ’11 for 12 days.  They came to the conclusion that she had Pulmonary Fibrosis caused from rhumetoid arthritis.  She was placed on oxygen, which she mostly refused to use.  After returning “home” she continued on a downward spiral.  It was so difficult to see her lose all her abilities.  She would talk/move her lips, but nothing would come out.  The last day I was with her, she mouthed, “I love you very much.”  I read her lips very plainly.  Then on August 18th, 2011, she was laid down for her afternoon nap by staff and went to sleep and never woke up.

It’s 4 mos. later and I have mixed emotions.  I’m so glad she is not suffering anymore, but memories keep creeping up that leave me sad.  We all got through the holidays, the first without Mother AND Dad, but they were constantly on our minds.  My brother and sister and I keep reminding eachother of the funny things they did.  That helps.  It was a long struggle, starting 12 yrs. ago when Dad developed lymphoma.  My younger sister bore the brunt of the responsibility of the caretaking with my brother and myself filling in.  My sister is the executor of their will and had power of attorney for health.  She did a fantastic job.

After Mother passed away, we got together for dinner and just talked about our families and current events.  It was the first time in many years we were not planning for the next issue for Mother and Dad.  It was very strange, but nice.  When so much of your life is based on what crisis would arise next for your parents, it is difficult to come done from that.  Slowly we are picking up the pieces.  We still have not gone through their treasures and disposed of them.  I guess we will do that next spring.  For now, life is moving along and carrying us with it.

My brother is a paramedic, my sister is a self-employed entrepreneur and I am a real estate investor. I have a sister that lives and owns a bar/restaurant in the Carribean.  We don’t see her very often.  Our next goal is to make sure our lives are fulfilling and we are living to our fullest.  Mother and Dad would want it that way.  They taught us to take care of ourselves and that is what we have to do.

It’s been nearly a year since I made an entry on this blog. No Excuses, just other things going on.

An update on Mother. Things are not going well. We moved her in May of 2010 to as Assisted Living facility that had greater care. Since then she’s gone downhill. She seems to slip away a little more each day.

She cannot get over grieving for my Dad. He was her total reason for being. She married so young she never had an identity of her own. She just doesn’t know how to function without him.

There is no easy conclusion to this. She is fading away by inches. My thoughts and prayers go out to others in this situation.

After 4 months of doctors and hospitals, my Mother is finally seeing stretch of reasonable health.  She has good days and bad days, but only minimal falling.  When she is feeling well, she is very frustrated that she can no longer do the thing that feeds her soul:  sewing.  She does not have good enough control over her foot to press on the foot pedal.  Getting old is heck.  It’s not for sissys.  You have to be tough.

When I think about how quickly those years are coming for me it is frightening.  It’s difficult to imagine a time when I won’t be planning the next project, reaching for the next milestone, having the freedom to be able to choose where and when I want to go somewhere.  But that is what it is like.  Mother tends to isolate and doesn’t socialize much which adds to her depression.  At her Assisted Living facility there are activities all day long.  She just refuses to participate. 

She cries a lot on her bad days, missing my Dad.  My brother took her to the gravesite on Monday.  Mom & Dad were married for 63 years.  She married when she was just 15 and he was 21, fresh out of the Army after WWII.  They knew each other 5 days and got married.  She was raised in a orphanage until she was 11 yrs. old.  After that, her mother (divorced) moved every few months.  The only security Mom had ever known was with Dad.  Now, she cannot understand why he had to die.  With her mobility challenges and missing Dad, her days are long and dark.  We try to visit her several times a week, but that doesn’t fill the empty hours when we are not around.

I only hope that when I am in her situation, which I’m sure I will be, I can muster the strength to get out and about and socialize as much as I can and keep my mind occupied with things other than Matlock, Gunsmoke, and Beverly Hillbillies.

Until next post…..live every minute of everyday.  Our days truly are numbered.

It’s been an interesting week, beginning last Thursday, Feb. 4^th, 2010.   My sister, brother and I admitted my Mother into the hospital.  For about 2 years she has been declining in her ability to move around.  We thought it was possibly Post-Polio syndrome.  In Dec. 2009 she was in the hospital for 10 days having every test imaginable run to find out why she could barely walk.  The only thing that showed any signs of a problem was hydrocephalus (too much fluid on her brain).  That could have accounted for the problems walking, plus some diminishment in her memory.

That is why she was admitted to the hospital on Thursday.  On Friday they performed a procedure to implant a “drain” through her spine, into her brain.  We were told that she might feel some “pressure”, but that was all.  I guess it is sort of like when they tell you you will have a “little” discomfort during child birth.  My sister and I could here her hollering all the way down the hall.  That went on for 45 min.  It was terrible.  They gave her morphine and a local anesthetic, but it really didn’t help much.

After the insertion of the tube, they drained fluid off her brain every 4 hrs.  That was painless.  However, after the tube was inserted, she began to have “electrical shock” pains in her legs and lower back.  Again, more morphine.

On Monday, they removed the drain.  She was tested, physically and cognitively before the drain insertion.  Then, again after the drain removal to see if there was any improvement, there was not.  We were all disappointed, especially after putting her through all that.  Our next step was rehab.  We took her there on Tuesday.  She seems to be working hard and is content with her surroundings for the time being.

We did have some funny moments.  She is having difficulty with her hearing aids, but we have not had time to get new ones…..a long story.  At one point she was watching T.V.  I called her name, but she did not respond.  I did that 3 times, then gave up.  After about 15 min., I called her louder.  She responded.  I asked her if she knew she was watching a Spanish speaking station.  She had not.  She just thought she couldn’t hear them very well.  We do not speak Spanish.

Another time, she was taken to the bathroom by an aide in a wheelchair.  She pulled down her pants, then sat back on the wheelchair.  The aide began to holler, “No, No!!!  Sit on the toilet”.  Mother was laughing so hard when she realized what she had done that she couldn’t stand up.  She DID make it to the toilet, however.

Taking care of parents and the roll reversal involved is so difficult for everyone.  I hate the idea of being old.  I don’t mind aging, I just dread that time when I have to give up my freedom and become dependent upon my children.  I’ll keep my blog posted as to Mother’s progress.  We are hoping to get her back to where she was 1 year ago…..independent.

Lincoln on Leadership Chapter 4

Lincoln had a reputation of being honest and trustworthy. That description of his character was earned. In the 1830′s he partnered with a man named Berry to open a General Store in New Salem, IL.  Though he was well liked and became the Post Master, the store failed.  Berry died from alcoholism and Lincoln was left with a debt of $1,100, quite a sum in those days. Though it took him many years, he paid back every penny of it.

The term “Honest Abe” actually came about as a campaign slogan, but has remained his nickname for all time. Lincoln’s reputation for honesty and integrity, though challenged, has remained unblemished. These qualities, without a doubt, were responsible for his great leadership skills. According to Tom Peters, honesty, integrity and trust are what hold a successful organization together. Those qualities start at the top and move down through the organization setting a tone for everyone. Values motivate.

In Network Marketing, you must be honest with your customers and team, or you will quickly lose both. Your team will follow your example….duplication. A leader must have strong integrity which develops trust. Always know and understand your Policies and Procedures. Because honesty and integrity begin at the top, “Business Models Drive the Behavior in the Field”. (I have an audio available with that title I would be happy to share.) Without leaders in your company with integrity and honesty, the company is doomed to fail. We have seen 2 large companies fail just in the last 2 weeks. One company was telling its distributors that it was debt free. Distributors were passing that information on to their teams. The company just filed for bankruptcy. It is $530 million in debt.

To check on the leaders in your company, do a Google search of their names and any prior companies, you are aware of, that they have been part of. Put “scam” behind their names. You’ll be surprised at what you will find…..or pleasantly surprised. It’s part of you doing your “due diligence” in making sure the company you are with will be there for you for the long haul. You don’t want to build it only to have it crumble around you and all your hard work with it.

Honesty and Integrity develop trust in an organization. To be a good leader you must possess these qualities. Honesty is always the best policy. To learn more about developing good leadership skills and how to assess a company, download the Network Marketing training manual at: http://suzansvatek.bigmlmlies.com.  It is quite an eye opener.

“Every person is a new door to a different world.”

Wishing you a Life Filled with Joy and Friendships

Gentle Persuasion

Lincoln on Leadership – Chapter 3

Getting back to “Lincoln on Leadership”, Lincoln lived on a philosophy of deep respect for his fellow humans. He felt that coercion, rather than persuasion, was akin to Dictatorship, which he abhorred. Lincoln led through openness and honesty. Lincoln felt that coercing another human being took away their dignity and the basic rights of the Constitution.

He did not hesitate to voice his opinion, but he always did it with respect. He went through a series of Generals. Lincoln practiced what he preached and lived. He expected his Generals to take initiative and LEAD. He delegated responsibility and expected follow-thru. Unfortunately he had a number of Generals who would not engage in aggressive battle with the Confederates. They would hesitate, and at times, not take action at all. Lincoln did not want the responsibility of leading his Army. He felt his responsibilities were with his elected office.

General George McClellan was accused of “deliberateness” (a.k.a. procrastination). Lincoln stood by him until it became apparent he was not willing to engage the enemy. Since Lincoln believed in persuasion, he never issued orders to his Generals. It was always suggestions. However, when he felt he had not other recourse, he relieved them of their command and appointed another General. Though Lincoln did not believe in coercing, he did believe in taking action.

In Network Marketing, we are about building “Know, Like and Trust”. That cannot be accomplished through coercion…..only persuasion. The fact is that even if you COULD force someone into joining you in your business, they would soon be “missing in action”, not returning phone calls and nowhere to be found. On the other hand, if we develop a relationship that provides a climate of trust, we are much more likely to have a prospect that is willing to do the work necessary to be successful. Persuasion is an art.

Lincoln’s Principles:

· When the occasion is piled high with difficulty, rise with it. Think anew and act anew.
· Don’t lose confidence in your people when they fail.
· Let your subordinates know that you are always glad to have their suggestions.
· If you never try, you’ll never succeed.
· Except in matters of broad policy, encourage subordinates to take action on their own initiative, without waiting for orders.
· Remember that the best leaders never stop learning.
· Surround yourself with people who really know their business, and avoid “yes” men.
· Be quick and decisive at employing new advances and make every attempt at getting new weapons into your soldier’s hands immediately.

Taken from “Lincoln on Leadership” by Donald T. Phillips

Educating yourself is vital to good leadership. To find out how to be a Network Marketing leader, download and read the free Ebook at: http://www.mentoringformlm.com

Lincoln on Leadership – Chapter 2

Can you imagine a more appropriate topic for Network Marketing? Network Marketing is all about building relationships (Alliances).

Lincoln spent an enormous amount of time building alliances with everyone from his Cabinet, Generals to office staff workers. He saw every relationship as important. Lincoln wanted to know how everyone ticked. Would they meet the challenge under pressure or would they fold? What were their ethics and values? As an effective leader he needed to know whom he could count on and who would need extra support. He also wanted everyone to know him well so they knew what to expect from his leadership style. Lincoln left nothing to chance.

Network Marketing Leaders build strong interpersonal relationships with their team and prospects which is the difference between succeeding and failing. Retention of your team is paramount to building your business. People join people, they don’t join companies. Building relationships develops Know, Like and Trust with your team and prospects.

Lincoln was a great listener. He was a master at dealing with conflict. His own “team” knew they could depend on him and could pretty well predict what his response would be in a given situation. He was firm, kind and resourceful, with a distinct mind of his own. He was able to overcome intense negative feelings directed toward him. Divisiveness can greatly weaken your team. Just spending time with your team, getting to know them, how they work, treating them with dignity and respect, will create great loyalty.

“Lincoln’s Principles:

· Wage only one war at a time.
· Spend time letting your followers learn that you are firm, resolute, and committed in the daily performance of your duty. Doing so will gain their respect and trust.
· Etiquette and personal dignity are sometimes wisely set aside
· Invest time and money in better understanding the ins and outs of human nature.
· Remember, human action can be modified to some extent, but human nature cannot be changed.
· Showing your compassionate and caring nature will aid you in forging successful relationships.
· When you extinguish hope, you create desperation.”

Taken from “Lincoln on Leadership”.

I’m going to be covering the book, “Lincoln on Leadership”, by Donald T. Phillips. It is an extraordinary accounting of Lincoln’s leadership style.

Chapter 1: Get Out of the Office and Circulate Among the Troops.

In management, so often you feel so busy and overwhelmed, circulating among the “troops” seems like a waste of time. However, it may be the greatest tool you have to develop loyalty and camaraderie. Lincoln was constantly out and about visiting with generals, cabinet members and his staff. He met them in their offices as well as in their homes. During the Civil War, he would frequently sleep at the War Department’s telegraph room waiting for messages from his soldiers in the field. His objective was to stay in touch with them, as well as, make quick decisions to be relayed back to his generals. He also visited members of Congress, and toured hospitals visiting the sick and wounded. He understood the value of his troops. He would frequently travel to the front lines of the War and visit with the soldiers. This raised morale and developed a sense of unity.

Lincoln would offer advice in the form of a suggestion. He rarely gave “orders”. His objective was to have the other person feel like it was his own decision. This developed ownership of decisions and thus, commitment. He knew that without loyalty and commitment, he would not win the war.

He was a master story teller, frequently giving advice in the form of a story, allowing the other person to draw their own conclusions from their individual experience. Lincoln was a very strong leader through gentle prodding, suggestions and story telling. He disliked strong-arming people. His personable leadership style made friends of even his greatest, most outspoken critics.

He was knowledgeable and made expeditious decisions based on facts. He was meticulous in his quest for facts. Both as a young lawyer and then as President, he stayed on top of the lastest developments, knew the laws and frequently reviewed the latest weaponry for his troops. Lincoln wanted only the best and latest technology for his soldiers.

Lincoln’s Principles:

· “Explain yourself in writing and offer advice on how to solve problems.
· It is important that the people know you come among them without fear.
· Seek casual contact with your subordinates. It is as meaningful as a formal gathering, if not more so.
· Don’t often decline to see people who call on you.
· Take public opinion baths.
· Be the very embodiment of good temper and affability.
· Remember, everyone likes a compliment
· If your subordinates can stand it, so can you. Set a good example
· You must seek and require access to reliable and up-to-date information.”

This applies to your Network Marketing business.

1. Be personable, approachable and available to your people when they need you.
2. Stay on top of the latest technology and tools.
3. Make decisions based on facts. Stay honest and upfront with your team.
4. Talk to your people even when you don’t need something – develop that relationship.
5. “Remember, everyone likes a compliment.”
6. Don’t just delegate; practice what you preach.

At Mentoring for Free, we teach you leadership and management skills. We have 10 free live training calls each week, open to everyone, in any business. The trainings are generic and do not mention products or companies. It is a safe place to learn.

If you would like to learn more about how Network Marketing really works, leadership and management for your team, download this free Ebook at: http://www.mentoringformlm.com.

If you have any questions please call me. If I don’t know the answer, I will find it for you through our team of great mentors.

“Every person is a new door to a different world.”

Wishing you a Life Filled with Joy and Friendships,
Suzan Svatek
817-441-1516
suzansvatek@yahoo.com

http://www.mentoringformlm.com

It was a comfortable, breezy November afternoon in North Texas. 12 of our family members had gathered at the cemetery in rememberance of my Dad who had passed away 1 year ago. Mother was there in her wheel chair since she now has mobility issues. Needless to say, it was very emotional for her.

Before gathering at the cemetery we had all met at a local restaurant for a late lunch. On the way to the cemetery we stopped at a liquor store and picked up some Pearl (brand) beer, my Dad’s favorite. He had drank Pearl beer for as long as I could remember. He would kick back on the weekend and have a few while watching the Cowboys play, or just because.

He was a sheet metal worker and was on his feet all day on a hard cement floor. Sitting with his feet up, usually with shoes off, in his recliner, having a Pearl beer was one of his favorite things to do.

We all stood around the cemetery plot sharing funny memories. One of them was about his evening “bathroom” ritual. Since he was raising 3 teenaged daughters and a son, in a 2 bedroom house with 1 bathroom, he didn’t get much time in the bathroom. On several occasions, he would step outside in the dark and relieve himself. Mother would think he was tending to the dog and turn on the outside flood lights. He would pound on the side of the house hollering “Hey….turn out that light!” Poor guy, no peace even outside.

After sharing stories, we each took a can of beer, popped the top and toasted my Dad for a life well lived. (None of us cared to actually drink the beer.) Then we each ceremoniously poured our can over the top of his grave, so he too could once more enjoy his beer.

I guess you could say we are a bit red-neck. And Dad was proud of that. He was a simple man, hard working, loving, with very basic needs and wants. All he really wanted was a roof over our heads, kids and wife well fed, clothes on our backs, basic transportation and an occasional weekend off.

He was a WWII Vet, serving as an anti-aircraft gunner with a small contingent of men who drove around the countryside spotting enemy aircraft and shooting them down. They had no protection. He was in 5 major battles toward the end of the war in Europe. He was only 17 went he enlisted. He sent his allottment checks to his Mother and when enough money had been saved, Dad bought his parents the first house they ever owned.

He and my Mother married when she was only 15, he was 21. They knew each other for 5 days before they married. It lasted 63 years. They raised 3 daughters and a son. They had 8 grandchildren, and 6 great-grandchildren when he passed away. (One more great-granddaughter since then).

So here’s to you Dad for a life “WELL LIVED” and loved by many.