When I think about how quickly those years are coming for me it is frightening.  It’s difficult to imagine a time when I won’t be planning the next project, reaching for the next milestone, having the freedom to be able to choose where and when I want to go somewhere.  But that is what it is like.  Mother tends to isolate and doesn’t socialize much which adds to her depression.  At her Assisted Living facility there are activities all day long.  She just refuses to participate. 

She cries a lot on her bad days, missing my Dad.  My brother took her to the gravesite on Monday.  Mom & Dad were married for 63 years.  She married when she was just 15 and he was 21, fresh out of the Army after WWII.  They knew each other 5 days and got married.  She was raised in a orphanage until she was 11 yrs. old.  After that, her mother (divorced) moved every few months.  The only security Mom had ever known was with Dad.  Now, she cannot understand why he had to die.  With her mobility challenges and missing Dad, her days are long and dark.  We try to visit her several times a week, but that doesn’t fill the empty hours when we are not around.

I only hope that when I am in her situation, which I’m sure I will be, I can muster the strength to get out and about and socialize as much as I can and keep my mind occupied with things other than Matlock, Gunsmoke, and Beverly Hillbillies.

Until next post…..live every minute of everyday.  Our days truly are numbered.

That is why she was admitted to the hospital on Thursday.  On Friday they performed a procedure to implant a “drain” through her spine, into her brain.  We were told that she might feel some “pressure”, but that was all.  I guess it is sort of like when they tell you you will have a “little” discomfort during child birth.  My sister and I could here her hollering all the way down the hall.  That went on for 45 min.  It was terrible.  They gave her morphine and a local anesthetic, but it really didn’t help much.

After the insertion of the tube, they drained fluid off her brain every 4 hrs.  That was painless.  However, after the tube was inserted, she began to have “electrical shock” pains in her legs and lower back.  Again, more morphine.

On Monday, they removed the drain.  She was tested, physically and cognitively before the drain insertion.  Then, again after the drain removal to see if there was any improvement, there was not.  We were all disappointed, especially after putting her through all that.  Our next step was rehab.  We took her there on Tuesday.  She seems to be working hard and is content with her surroundings for the time being.

We did have some funny moments.  She is having difficulty with her hearing aids, but we have not had time to get new ones…..a long story.  At one point she was watching T.V.  I called her name, but she did not respond.  I did that 3 times, then gave up.  After about 15 min., I called her louder.  She responded.  I asked her if she knew she was watching a Spanish speaking station.  She had not.  She just thought she couldn’t hear them very well.  We do not speak Spanish.

Another time, she was taken to the bathroom by an aide in a wheelchair.  She pulled down her pants, then sat back on the wheelchair.  The aide began to holler, “No, No!!!  Sit on the toilet”.  Mother was laughing so hard when she realized what she had done that she couldn’t stand up.  She DID make it to the toilet, however.

Taking care of parents and the roll reversal involved is so difficult for everyone.  I hate the idea of being old.  I don’t mind aging, I just dread that time when I have to give up my freedom and become dependent upon my children.  I’ll keep my blog posted as to Mother’s progress.  We are hoping to get her back to where she was 1 year ago…..independent.

Lincoln on Leadership Chapter 4

Lincoln had a reputation of being honest and trustworthy. That description of his character was earned. In the 1830’s he partnered with a man named Berry to open a General Store in New Salem, IL.  Though he was well liked and became the Post Master, the store failed.  Berry died from alcoholism and Lincoln was left with a debt of $1,100, quite a sum in those days. Though it took him many years, he paid back every penny of it.

The term “Honest Abe” actually came about as a campaign slogan, but has remained his nickname for all time. Lincoln’s reputation for honesty and integrity, though challenged, has remained unblemished. These qualities, without a doubt, were responsible for his great leadership skills. According to Tom Peters, honesty, integrity and trust are what hold a successful organization together. Those qualities start at the top and move down through the organization setting a tone for everyone. Values motivate.

In Network Marketing, you must be honest with your customers and team, or you will quickly lose both. Your team will follow your example….duplication. A leader must have strong integrity which develops trust. Always know and understand your Policies and Procedures. Because honesty and integrity begin at the top, “Business Models Drive the Behavior in the Field”. (I have an audio available with that title I would be happy to share.) Without leaders in your company with integrity and honesty, the company is doomed to fail. We have seen 2 large companies fail just in the last 2 weeks. One company was telling its distributors that it was debt free. Distributors were passing that information on to their teams. The company just filed for bankruptcy. It is $530 million in debt.

To check on the leaders in your company, do a Google search of their names and any prior companies, you are aware of, that they have been part of. Put “scam” behind their names. You’ll be surprised at what you will find…..or pleasantly surprised. It’s part of you doing your “due diligence” in making sure the company you are with will be there for you for the long haul. You don’t want to build it only to have it crumble around you and all your hard work with it.

Honesty and Integrity develop trust in an organization. To be a good leader you must possess these qualities. Honesty is always the best policy. To learn more about developing good leadership skills and how to assess a company, download the Network Marketing training manual at: http://suzansvatek.bigmlmlies.com.  It is quite an eye opener.

“Every person is a new door to a different world.”

Wishing you a Life Filled with Joy and Friendships

Gentle Persuasion

Lincoln on Leadership – Chapter 3

Getting back to “Lincoln on Leadership”, Lincoln lived on a philosophy of deep respect for his fellow humans. He felt that coercion, rather than persuasion, was akin to Dictatorship, which he abhorred. Lincoln led through openness and honesty. Lincoln felt that coercing another human being took away their dignity and the basic rights of the Constitution.

He did not hesitate to voice his opinion, but he always did it with respect. He went through a series of Generals. Lincoln practiced what he preached and lived. He expected his Generals to take initiative and LEAD. He delegated responsibility and expected follow-thru. Unfortunately he had a number of Generals who would not engage in aggressive battle with the Confederates. They would hesitate, and at times, not take action at all. Lincoln did not want the responsibility of leading his Army. He felt his responsibilities were with his elected office.

General George McClellan was accused of “deliberateness” (a.k.a. procrastination). Lincoln stood by him until it became apparent he was not willing to engage the enemy. Since Lincoln believed in persuasion, he never issued orders to his Generals. It was always suggestions. However, when he felt he had not other recourse, he relieved them of their command and appointed another General. Though Lincoln did not believe in coercing, he did believe in taking action.

In Network Marketing, we are about building “Know, Like and Trust”. That cannot be accomplished through coercion…..only persuasion. The fact is that even if you COULD force someone into joining you in your business, they would soon be “missing in action”, not returning phone calls and nowhere to be found. On the other hand, if we develop a relationship that provides a climate of trust, we are much more likely to have a prospect that is willing to do the work necessary to be successful. Persuasion is an art.

Lincoln’s Principles:

· When the occasion is piled high with difficulty, rise with it. Think anew and act anew.
· Don’t lose confidence in your people when they fail.
· Let your subordinates know that you are always glad to have their suggestions.
· If you never try, you’ll never succeed.
· Except in matters of broad policy, encourage subordinates to take action on their own initiative, without waiting for orders.
· Remember that the best leaders never stop learning.
· Surround yourself with people who really know their business, and avoid “yes” men.
· Be quick and decisive at employing new advances and make every attempt at getting new weapons into your soldier’s hands immediately.

Taken from “Lincoln on Leadership” by Donald T. Phillips

Educating yourself is vital to good leadership. To find out how to be a Network Marketing leader, download and read the free Ebook at: http://www.mentoringformlm.com

Can you imagine a more appropriate topic for Network Marketing? Network Marketing is all about building relationships (Alliances).

Lincoln spent an enormous amount of time building alliances with everyone from his Cabinet, Generals to office staff workers. He saw every relationship as important. Lincoln wanted to know how everyone ticked. Would they meet the challenge under pressure or would they fold? What were their ethics and values? As an effective leader he needed to know whom he could count on and who would need extra support. He also wanted everyone to know him well so they knew what to expect from his leadership style. Lincoln left nothing to chance.

Network Marketing Leaders build strong interpersonal relationships with their team and prospects which is the difference between succeeding and failing. Retention of your team is paramount to building your business. People join people, they don’t join companies. Building relationships develops Know, Like and Trust with your team and prospects.

Lincoln was a great listener. He was a master at dealing with conflict. His own “team” knew they could depend on him and could pretty well predict what his response would be in a given situation. He was firm, kind and resourceful, with a distinct mind of his own. He was able to overcome intense negative feelings directed toward him. Divisiveness can greatly weaken your team. Just spending time with your team, getting to know them, how they work, treating them with dignity and respect, will create great loyalty.

“Lincoln’s Principles:

· Wage only one war at a time.
· Spend time letting your followers learn that you are firm, resolute, and committed in the daily performance of your duty. Doing so will gain their respect and trust.
· Etiquette and personal dignity are sometimes wisely set aside
· Invest time and money in better understanding the ins and outs of human nature.
· Remember, human action can be modified to some extent, but human nature cannot be changed.
· Showing your compassionate and caring nature will aid you in forging successful relationships.
· When you extinguish hope, you create desperation.”

Taken from “Lincoln on Leadership”.

Chapter 1: Get Out of the Office and Circulate Among the Troops.

In management, so often you feel so busy and overwhelmed, circulating among the “troops” seems like a waste of time. However, it may be the greatest tool you have to develop loyalty and camaraderie. Lincoln was constantly out and about visiting with generals, cabinet members and his staff. He met them in their offices as well as in their homes. During the Civil War, he would frequently sleep at the War Department’s telegraph room waiting for messages from his soldiers in the field. His objective was to stay in touch with them, as well as, make quick decisions to be relayed back to his generals. He also visited members of Congress, and toured hospitals visiting the sick and wounded. He understood the value of his troops. He would frequently travel to the front lines of the War and visit with the soldiers. This raised morale and developed a sense of unity.

Lincoln would offer advice in the form of a suggestion. He rarely gave “orders”. His objective was to have the other person feel like it was his own decision. This developed ownership of decisions and thus, commitment. He knew that without loyalty and commitment, he would not win the war.

He was a master story teller, frequently giving advice in the form of a story, allowing the other person to draw their own conclusions from their individual experience. Lincoln was a very strong leader through gentle prodding, suggestions and story telling. He disliked strong-arming people. His personable leadership style made friends of even his greatest, most outspoken critics.

He was knowledgeable and made expeditious decisions based on facts. He was meticulous in his quest for facts. Both as a young lawyer and then as President, he stayed on top of the lastest developments, knew the laws and frequently reviewed the latest weaponry for his troops. Lincoln wanted only the best and latest technology for his soldiers.

Lincoln’s Principles:

· “Explain yourself in writing and offer advice on how to solve problems.
· It is important that the people know you come among them without fear.
· Seek casual contact with your subordinates. It is as meaningful as a formal gathering, if not more so.
· Don’t often decline to see people who call on you.
· Take public opinion baths.
· Be the very embodiment of good temper and affability.
· Remember, everyone likes a compliment
· If your subordinates can stand it, so can you. Set a good example
· You must seek and require access to reliable and up-to-date information.”

This applies to your Network Marketing business.

1. Be personable, approachable and available to your people when they need you.
2. Stay on top of the latest technology and tools.
3. Make decisions based on facts. Stay honest and upfront with your team.
4. Talk to your people even when you don’t need something – develop that relationship.
5. “Remember, everyone likes a compliment.”
6. Don’t just delegate; practice what you preach.

At Mentoring for Free, we teach you leadership and management skills. We have 10 free live training calls each week, open to everyone, in any business. The trainings are generic and do not mention products or companies. It is a safe place to learn.

If you would like to learn more about how Network Marketing really works, leadership and management for your team, download this free Ebook at: http://www.mentoringformlm.com.

If you have any questions please call me. If I don’t know the answer, I will find it for you through our team of great mentors.

“Every person is a new door to a different world.”

Wishing you a Life Filled with Joy and Friendships,
Suzan Svatek
817-441-1516
suzansvatek@yahoo.com

http://www.mentoringformlm.com

Before gathering at the cemetery we had all met at a local restaurant for a late lunch. On the way to the cemetery we stopped at a liquor store and picked up some Pearl (brand) beer, my Dad’s favorite. He had drank Pearl beer for as long as I could remember. He would kick back on the weekend and have a few while watching the Cowboys play, or just because.

He was a sheet metal worker and was on his feet all day on a hard cement floor. Sitting with his feet up, usually with shoes off, in his recliner, having a Pearl beer was one of his favorite things to do.

We all stood around the cemetery plot sharing funny memories. One of them was about his evening “bathroom” ritual. Since he was raising 3 teenaged daughters and a son, in a 2 bedroom house with 1 bathroom, he didn’t get much time in the bathroom. On several occasions, he would step outside in the dark and relieve himself. Mother would think he was tending to the dog and turn on the outside flood lights. He would pound on the side of the house hollering “Hey….turn out that light!” Poor guy, no peace even outside.

After sharing stories, we each took a can of beer, popped the top and toasted my Dad for a life well lived. (None of us cared to actually drink the beer.) Then we each ceremoniously poured our can over the top of his grave, so he too could once more enjoy his beer.

I guess you could say we are a bit red-neck. And Dad was proud of that. He was a simple man, hard working, loving, with very basic needs and wants. All he really wanted was a roof over our heads, kids and wife well fed, clothes on our backs, basic transportation and an occasional weekend off.

He was a WWII Vet, serving as an anti-aircraft gunner with a small contingent of men who drove around the countryside spotting enemy aircraft and shooting them down. They had no protection. He was in 5 major battles toward the end of the war in Europe. He was only 17 went he enlisted. He sent his allottment checks to his Mother and when enough money had been saved, Dad bought his parents the first house they ever owned.

He and my Mother married when she was only 15, he was 21. They knew each other for 5 days before they married. It lasted 63 years. They raised 3 daughters and a son. They had 8 grandchildren, and 6 great-grandchildren when he passed away. (One more great-granddaughter since then).

So here’s to you Dad for a life “WELL LIVED” and loved by many.

1. Define your Roles and Goals. Make a list of at least 20 items.

2. Put them in order of importance.

3. Keep your statements brief, clear and simple. Try to keep them to 1 or 2 sentences. You are focusing on what you want to become as a person at this time in your life. Think about specific behaviors, habits, actions and qualities that would significantly impact your life positively over the next 1 to 5 years.

4. Your mission statement should be positive. Do not say what you don’t want to do, instead write about how you would achieve your goal in a positive way. Include positive behaviors, values and character traits that are of particular importance to you.

5. Be aware of how your character traits, actions, behaviors and habits affect the important relationships in your life.

6. Create your mission statement in a way that is doable for you in your everyday life. Do not go to extraordinary goals that would set you up for failure. Stretch yourself, but do not create anxiety in your fulfillment of your goals.

7. Is your mission statement consistent with other areas of your life? Are you achieving balance?

8. Write in the first person, i.e., I WILL… work to further my knowledge everyday either through taking classes, reading books, or educating experiences so I can be intelligent and insightful.

9. Do your mission statements energize and motivate you?

10. Your mission statements will change as you grow. It is important to reflect on them frequently and update them as you evolve and gain insights about what you want for each part of your life.

The following examples are taken from the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”:

Personal Mission Statement:

“My mission is to live with integrity and to make a difference in the lives of others.

To fulfill this mission:

I have charity: I see out and love the one – each one – regardless of his situation.

I sacrifice: I devote my time, talents, and resources to my mission.

I inspire: I teach by example that we are all children of a living Heavenly Father and that every Goliath can be overcome.

I am impactful: What I do makes a difference in the lives of others.”

Another example from the same book:

“I will seek to balance career and family as best I can since both are important to me.

My home will be a place where I and my family, friends, and guests find joy, comfort, peace, and happiness. Still I will seek to create a clean and orderly environment, yet livable and comfortable.

I will exercise wisdom in what we choose to eat, read, see, and do at home. I especially want to teach my children to love, learn, and to laugh – and to work and develop their unique talents.

I value the rights, freedoms and responsibilities of our democratic society. I will be a concerned and informed citizen, involved in the political process to ensure my voice is heard and my vote is counted.”

Each example has a personality unique to its author. Yours will be unique to you.

Take the time to draft a Personal Mission Statement and watch your life move ahead rapidly and successfully.

As a result of reading this book, I have begun to draft my own Personal Mission Statement. As Covey says, “I am the programmer, thus I write my own program.” I must decide and design what I stand for in my life. Am I REACTIVE or PROACTIVE?

Your Personal Mission Statement is your personal constitution; the standards by which you live your life. When the world around you is in chaos, you are still solidly grounded by virtue of your foundation.

You are not swayed and persuaded from what you value most. Defining who you are at your core can take weeks or months. It requires great introspection and deep objectivity. Just like the constitution our country is governed by, it is a set of distinct principles. It is “a complete and concise expression of your innermost values and directions” according to Covey.

Your mission statement becomes a solid expression of your vision and values. It causes you to think deeply through your priorities. It is total self-awareness and extremely empowering.

To write your Personal Mission Statement, break your life down into specific roles areas. Identify goals for each of those areas. These roles might include your career, personal (wife, husband, Mother, Father, friend, neighbor), community roles, i.e., public service, political, or volunteering. What about those roles are important to you?

After you identify your roles, then you decide on long term goals. These roles and goals are unique to you. Do not develop these roles and goals in order to gain acceptance from some outside force. Focus on results rather than activity. Identify where you are now and then where you want to go.

“Roles and goals give structure and organized direction to your personal mission,” says Covey. Start out with identifying two or three important results you wish to accomplish in each area of your life. From there, begin to draft you mission statement.

In my next posting, I’ll tell you HOW to draft your Personal Mission Statement.

To achieve it, you first have to dream it. You must have a burning desire for your dreams. Do you live your life making excuses for why you cannot achieve your dreams? Take a moment and think about what your excuses are. Are you fearful of failing? Are you harboring any of the 9 Negative Emotions:

1. Fear
2. Jealousy
3. Hatred
4. Revenge
5. Greed
6. Superstition
7. Anger
8. Lack
9. Victim Mentality

Living your life with these emotions is an assurance that you will live your life making excuses and never achieving your dreams. These negative emotions, if you are using them as excuses, will make you a bitter person, holding dreams inside that are never fulfilled.

“Don’t believe everything you think,” Wayne Dyer

What would your life look like if you couldn’t use these excuses? Would you feel truly free? When you begin to realize that, why wouldn’t you choose to eliminate excuses? Go into your imagination and dream about the life you would create for yourself if you could have anything you wanted. After you have captured that thought completely, how does it feel? Stay with the feeling. That feeling is what you can call on whenever you begin to make excuses about why you cannot do something, to pull yourself back to the reality you wish to create.

How do you continuously reinforce this new way of thinking? Talking to your subconscious. Your conscious mind is dumb as a rock. It only regurgitates back to you what you have memorized. Your subconscious is the smart one and that is what guides your every thought. Therefore, wouldn’t it make sense to tap into your subconscious and change what you don’t want? Change all those thoughts and feelings that just seem to pop up out of nowhere and are not constructive.

You must do things that make you at peace in order to tap into your subconscious. Before you go to sleep each night review your positive affirmations instead of reviewing what went wrong during the day, or conjure up one of the 9 negative emotions. By implanting positives into your subconscious at night, you’ll have 8 or so hours to recycle those thoughts through your subconscious so that during the day, your subconscious will return only positives.

Making excuses instead of creating dreams is self-destructive. Excuses keep us stuck. Breaking lose from excuses free us to reach our dreams and become the people we wish to be.