Suzan Svatek

With the rat race we live in, it is difficult to think about how to make OURSELVES happy, much less how to help others feel good about themselves. We rush through our days without taking even a moment to stop and relax.

However, focusing on helping others feel good is actually a wonderful way to improve our own lives, that of our community, as well as society in general.

Martin Luther King, Jr. so wisely stated, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is ‘What are you doing for others?’” Mark Twain has his own slant on it saying, “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

In fact, helping others feel good reverses feelings of isolation, helplessness, and depression, and boosts your immune system. When you are kind to others, your own feelings of optimism, emotional resilience, self-worth and joy are enhanced.

Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training at the Sedona Training Associates explains why helping others feel good goes to the core of our being:

“The reason we feel good when we’re kind to others is because love is our basic nature and taking these type of actions gives us an excuse to love. In fact, the more you give and the more you love, the better you feel.

If you recognize that giving without wanting anything back in return — and expressing the love that you are with the people around you — always gives you more than you appear to be giving away, this tends to motivate you to want to do this more and more.

So love and give and do with abandon. You’ll find the more you give without wanting anything back in return and the more you go out of your way to make others feel good the richer and happier you’ll be.”

You are probably wondering, exactly WHAT can I do to help others feel good? Here are some simple actions you can take today!

1. Get to know your neighbors and share with them. We have a neighbor who picks up our newspaper at the end of our driveway every morning, and brings it close to the house. In turn, we help him repair his lawn equipment and do odd jobs for him. It brings joy to our lives to have such a neighbor, and in return, helps him feel good.

2. Demonstrate love to those around you. Showing love, even to strangers, is possible and in doing so can infinitely boost their spirits. Simple things like buying a bag of groceries for a homeless person, or sharing advice or a few words of kindness with someone in a letter or email can make a difference in their world.

3. An unexpected compliments. Give a warm, sincere compliment and brighten someone’s day.

4. Be a Volunteer. You cannot give a better gift than giving of yourself. There are numerous homeless shelters, or be a Big Brother or Big Sister to a youngster. Choose from the numerous organizations you feel are worthwhile and give of your time.

5. Service to Others. Bring a co-worker, or your mate a cup of coffee if they are having a hard day. Be aware of those around you and their challenges. Give moral support.

6. Have an attitude of gratitude. Be grateful for everything and everyone around you. Show or express that gratitude in small caring gestures. Your attitude of gratitude will reflect in your interactions with others and in turn, help them feel good about their lives.

7. Practice true compassion. We are all different, with different likes and dislikes, values, judgments, and opinions. Even though someone may have a different way of viewing life, it is in our best interest, as well as theirs to listen to, and understand them. We don’t necessarily have to agree with everything, but accepting and understanding each other leaves each of you feeling good about yourselves. Your compassion and understanding will be an inspiration to others.

To help others feel good is actually a way of helping YOU feel good about yourself. Just a little caring, sharing, compassion, and love goes a long way for anyone around you needing a little boost. Even without seeking it out, your actions will return great rewards in the form of loving, caring relationships.

Do you demand perfection in all areas of your life, from home to work and everything in between? It seems like a noble aspiration…even one we should all possibly strive for. However, perfectionism actually makes people miserable. Perfectionistic attitudes can defeat you when you least expect it causing depression. Overcoming perfectionism can be challenging since it is generally a very deep-seated habit.

Perfectionists encounter many problems with everyday living. They usually feel they are letting down those around them (including themselves) in both personal and professional relationships. They have to understand that NOTHING is ever perfect. Life is full of uncertainty. According to Alistair Ostell, a lecturer in psychology at the University of Bradford Management Center in England, perfectionists are more susceptible to emotional and physical problems. They often show symptoms of insomnia, chronic fatigue, high blood pressure, depression and heart palpitations. These symptoms occur at a much higher rate than in those who are more flexible or open-minded.

“If there’s one thing perfectionism does, it rigidifies behavior,” author Hara Estroff Marano says in his Psychology Today article. “It constricts people just when the fast-moving world requires more flexibility and comfort with ambiguity than ever. It turns people into success slaves.”

Perfectionism, at its most extreme, can actually paralyze people when their compulsive desire to be perfect overrides reality. This leads to stress-related illnesses, relationship problems, low self-esteem, a decrease in productivity and sometimes as extreme as suicidal thoughts.

How do you know if perfectionism is paralyzing you? Do you ever think the following self-limiting beliefs? How often do the following limiting beliefs keep you from achieving your goals and dreams?

- I must rigidly control everything in my life
- People will not like me if I am not perfect
- If someone criticizes me, they must be stupid
- If I didn’t achieve a goal, I must be a failure
- It’s NOT OK to make a mistake
- I get depressed when something doesn’t come out like I planned
- If I can’t do it to my standards, I just won’t do it

“This is not to say that you shouldn’t strive to do your best. It’s just that if you force yourself to be perfect all the time you’ll never feel like you are,” Hale Dwoskin of the Sedona Method says. “The best way to release your desire for perfection is to let go of wanting to be perfect or to create perfection,” he continues. “It is also extremely helpful to allow yourself to love or accept yourself as you are. The more you love and accept yourself as you are, and the more you allow yourself to accept your performance, the happier you’ll feel, and the more likely you’ll be to produce stellar results.”

It’s helpful to note that even the 7 wonders of the world are not perfect. Let go of the feeling that you must be perfect and placing unrealistic expectations upon yourself. The reality is that even if you’re not perfect, you can still be GREAT. Overcoming Perfectionism can greatly free up your creativity and allow you to become the person you were meant to be.

Being in a home based business for myself, and working out of my home sometimes feels a little lonely. When I start to feel isolated, I know it’s time for a good dose of laughter. Laughter is one of the simple joys of life; and recent studies say we need 12 laughs a day just to stay healthy!

The following was taken from “Laughter is an Instant Vacation”. It’s contents will make you laugh out loud.

Here’s a little sampling that I hope will make your day a little brighter!

If you look like your passport photo, you’re too ill to travel.
-Will Kommen

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.
-Dean Martin

I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
-Calvin Trillin

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
-Rita Rudner

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV’s for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.
-Wendy Liebman

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes – and six months later you have to start all over again.
-Joan Rivers

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
-Henny Youngman

Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
-Bob Thaves

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
-Ben Franklin

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
-Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn’t afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays.
-Joey Bishop

These made me laugh. I hope they do the same for you.

YOUR DAILY MOTIVATION:

Serenity

SUCCESS IS CLOSER THAN YOU THINK

Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity.
But you have to act on them if you’re going to be successful.
 
Distant pastures always look greener than those close at hand, but real opportunities are right where you are.

You must simply take advantage of them when they appear.
You can start where you are at any time.
 
Success is all around you.

It’s not in your environment, it’s not in luck or chance,
or in the help of others.

Success is in you alone.
 
You don’t need more strength or more ability or greater opportunity.
What you need is to use what you have.

Learn to seize good fortune, for it is always around you. 
You must go to success, it doesn’t come to you.
Open your own doors to opportunity.

One of my favorite books is “The Slight Edge”, by Jeff Olson. Success arrives at your door step when you persistently do small tasks on a consistent basis, like the story about the “Tortoise and the Hare”. You can scramble about doing “busy work”, shuffling papers, hopping about from one task to another without focusing on the small tasks and get nowhere. However, by organizing your tasks, taking them on one at at time and doing them consistently, you WILL reach your goals. Reaching your goals brings about Greatness in your life.

Max Steingart shared the following:

SUCCESSFUL ACTION IS CUMULATIVE IN RESULTS.

Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.

Many people take the first step and then stop.Yet, with every additional step you take, you enhance immensely the value of your first step.

All masters of success are chiefly distinguished by their power of adding a second, a third, and perhaps a forth step in a continuous line.

There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession is the rule of life.

That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.

Do not despise the bottom rings in your ascent to greatness.

What is winning? Is it crossing the finish line first….ALWAYS? Or is winning persistence? Without persistence you simply cannot win. Winning is not LUCK…..it is generally the culmination of lots of hard work done on a consistent basis.

Here are some thoughts from Dennis Waitley about Winning.

Winning Is……..

Winning is never whining.

Winning is coming in fourth, exhausted but excited, because you came in fifth last time.

Winning is being glad you’re you.

Winning is feeling, there is no ceiling.

Winning is beginning, and by beginning, the game is half won.

Winning is all in the attitude!

Where do you want to be in your life? I want to be winning, even if it ISN’T first place everytime. It’s doing my best, staying in the game and persisting.

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